darkangelpixie

have you ever felt like you were trapped in a box and there was nothing to do you had no where to call your own you didnt even have your own space cause you felt like you werent allowed to have it???

have you ever understood what it was like when you stared into the glass where you used to trap bugs to watch them... i dont mean like understood the bugs but what the bugs must have felt like being watched and never allowed the privilege of being let free that one last time to breathe the air that gave them life???

have you ever felt like you were wearing clothes that were way too tight and you couldnt breathe right all you felt like you were doing was breathing in but not able to breathe out... just the realize what you were wearing wasnt even tight to begin with???

have you ever understood the meaning of life one day and then hit your head and forget it all over again???

have you ever seen something very simple be so beautiful just to turn around to see it destroyed in front of you???

have you ever tried to get some peace and quiet just to see it all turn into something that will keep your ears ringing for the next three days???

have you ever shed tears just to realize that you were crying for yourself???

have you ever thought that you would do anything for someone just to find out that they would do anything to not be with you???

have you ever held someone till the late hours of the night just to wake to them not being there????

have you ever understood everything but couldnt explain anything????

have you ever wished that  you would go deaf just so you couldnt hear the screams of your own thoughts?

have you ever thought of me and wondered why????

have you ever wondered why all i do is scream inside from my own thoughts???

have you ever wondered why you could tell me anything and i understood cause i have been there at least once before???

have you ever woken up and thought hey maybe i will stay here with her???

have you ever thought that the reason i would do anything for you even though you arent there for me sometimes is because i know you need me when you want me???

have you ever realized that is why i cry???

have you ever wondered why i leave by myself once a year???

have you ever wondered why i worship what you do say and create???

have you ever wondered why i stare deep into your eyes all the time???

have you ever wondered why i hate being in love or care so deeply for you???

have you ever understood why i always hated being thought of as "one of the OTHER girls"?

have you ever wondered why i shut the door and put on head phones and cry and hope yall wont come in just to turn everything i just did upside down????

have you ever wondered if this is the reason why i write poetry???

Life's Dead Lullaby

What is there to write,
when words cannot describe,
the life that passes you by,
to be with me tonight.
my heart that's scarred inside,
lives within the lie,

Of Life's Dead Lullaby.

To please with in the pain,
By the souls of immortalism,
with what is lost,
you cannot regain,

Of Life's Dead Lullaby.

To watch the pain and sorrows,
of joy's lifeless breathes,
to be deep inside,

Of Life's Dead Lullaby.

Bless the night,
for it will not pass,
for the Angels,
do not sigh for me anymore,
and with each lifeless touch,
I will always think of you,

As Life's Dead Lullaby...





I wrote this one night thinking of some people I care about... you know who you are... I Love All Of My Friends... if I didn't then I wouldn't have chosen y'all you walk beside me on this journey that I am going through... I pick my friends carefully and if you didn't know that then just ask one of them... Y'all mean the world to me and all I feel like it that you don't even want to hold my hand.... Blessed Be Bitches!

When I write poetry I write things that I want to be remembered. I think of famous artist writers lovers and pretty much any one that I have fallen in love with by word song dance touch and taste.  With this being said, I want to write on the topic of love, and I don't mean poetry. I hope this will inspire you my friends to think about this in a new light.

William Shakespeare, one of the most breathtaking authors is noted for saying, "Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs."

When I hear it I think of the early morning, when the sun is slowly coming into the windows, and you can hear the birds talking while they are in search of food. I think of the first time in the morning I roll over still been in your embrace and I feel the sweet quiet breathe on my neck.

Love isn't always about true love, because honestly how many times have you seen true love find each other? Sorry that was cynical… But think about the random things that makes us have fleeting feelings and emotions of love.

We all feel strongly when our hearts become enthralled with certain items. From passion to lust to kindness to pain, our hearts pull us from the dirt to cloud nine to the gutter all over again.

The things that makes us go round and makes us feel alive and enveloped in our own egomaniacal selves, but just for that small small instant that you are with the one you care about everything is so beautiful.

All your senses seem to be alive each taste is better each touch is stronger, you feel as if those around you fade in the background and it is only you and them in some far off distant place to where the only thing being thought about is that other person.

But this is a feeling that is always short lived, you feel it rushing from you when you realize that yes it is morning and yes they are leaving. No sorry they cant stay longer and cuddle some more they cant stop getting dressed and realize and soak in what all has happened the night before. Sometimes they want to leave because they feel scared about these strong feelings and believe it is best to run from them in a blaze of glory when they should have stayed the whole time because they could have better realized what did take place.

You see some of the greatest moments of love and affection happen when you least expect it… When you are talking about the special times and thoughts that go through you head during those ten seconds of silence after the last sentence is spoken. The electrifying kiss that happens when you and your lover are enthralled in passion as the lightening strikes and the rain slams down, and the thunder shakes the house with earthly vibrations. When you hold each others water soaked bodies in the shower and feel each bubble of soap slowly go down your body. When all is silent in the night and you open your eyes just to watch your lover asleep beside you, so peaceful, so quiet, so tender and fragile during the last of the late night moments.

It becomes an addiction, this façade as you heart  is slammed, your small beating boat against the rocky shores from the intrepid songs of this thing called love.

"Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain."
Leo Buscaglia

Too many things demand understanding in life, to men there is women, to women there is peace, to us all there is love. And with all these things one must accomplish in the end in order to achieve their own answers, that is the simplest things are not to me answered as if so some extra credit, they are to be experienced.

Jilted

I am sorry that I hurt you
I am sorry that your mad
I am sorry you feel it needs to come to this
Despite all the love that we have
You said your feelings changed
And it was long ago, deep inside
I am sorry that I scared you off
For you to run and hide

All I want to do is kiss away your tears
For you are my hopes, my dreams, my anguish crying fears
For you I gave up smoking
And changed the way I am
Even though you say you don't feel the same
So to the slaughter I am the lamb
My love for you is still here
And it continues to grow deep inside
For you are my king and I hope day to be your queen
And not this jilted bride.

What about me?


What About Me???? Every one wants to know. My Life ebbs and my life flows. I see things through the eyes of the tortured souls. Because that where I was long ago. I saw the pain and fear in my mothers eyes. Let alone the Tell Tale lies. My father beat us and my mother cried. I got stronger and my mother went to hide. They got divorced and she married another. We allowed him to beat on us but then he turned to my brother. He is so frail, but strong inside. My fury burned and I let my fists ride. Like rockets burning as fast as that speed of light. I knew then this would not be the last fight. He'd get drunk and make a mess. I'd get my family out with their looks of hopelessness. He is know pissed, for he has no punching bags to hit. He turned to me with his eyes on fire, just freshly lit. I fought him every time. As we did this I knew the cops were going to arrive. It is pretty sad when the local cops know you by name. They know every thing about you and exactly whose to blame. It's not the dad, and its not the mom, it's whatever they were drinking in the bottle or the jar. It's late in the evening and I have to wake up soon. I haven't slept at all and my clothes still stink. Of the shit my "father" likes to drink. But I know tonight was a good night, because my brother and my mother can still see the light.